30 Day Art Challenge: Day 3

Today was mostly laundry, cramps and one sick little boy....and of course, a little art:

9x12 mixed media on watercolour paper

Thinking about the one way path we're on in life. All roads lead to a certain end.

Our neighbour just died last week. He left behind 3 kids, the youngest is only 11. Every time I see his wife she just looks so alone.

Good to remember sometimes how finite this all is. How important it is to fill every day with the people and things you love, and to really make "the journey home".

30 Day Art Challenge: Day 2

Today was a really good day! I had an afternoon date with my husband (coffee and shopping), I bought new glasses (the last time I did this was in 2001, so I think I am due for new ones!), I had cheerful cooperative children (it's gotta happen occasionally), I signed up for Julie Prichard's upcoming online class (so excited!), I made art and got 2 really cool things in the mail (3 if you count the DH's new art for his collection that came as well!).

Today's artwork:



Also done in my quotation journal. The quote is:

Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.
~Matsuo Basho

And in the mail was some awesome photo art cards from my friend Deb (love them! Thank you!) and a book. My book. Squee!!! So cool. Something about my name on that spine that I shore do like. The bottom of the cover pic got slightly cropped and I effed up the page #'s inside so they start at the cover page, rather than the story...but honestly I was really pleased at the overall quality, and since it's just for friends and family I am not too fussed about the couple of small errors.

So yeah, a good day.

30 Day Art Challenge: Day 1

Over at Mixed Media Arts, instead of an artist of the month for May, Gary has put out a 30 day challenge. The idea is to create and share an artwork a day for 30 days, and I've decided to do it.

I like the idea of forcing myself to be prolific...like a painting Nanowrimo. I won't have time to be fussy or perfectionist. Risks will have to be taken. Accidents accepted. Dragons slain. (otherwise known as inner critics!) I am hoping to emerge with a stronger sense of my own style, and of course more art skillz. And it just sounds like fun. I love to make art. It is my favourite thing to do right now, without question. So this challenge is almost like an excuse to play more!

The hardest part may be the sharing component. I still get squeamish and hold back at times. I mean, I am just a n00b with this art stuff, no one wants to see my artworks etc. etc. All that nasty inner critic crap that we all beat ourselves up with when it comes to creative pursuits. So 30 days of having to share works done quickly will, I am sure, be just as good for me as the art itself. And if I'm going to share there, I may as well share here on my own cozy corner. (easier to share here of course!)

So work #1 (because I am an eager little Hermione and couldn't wait 2 more days to get started!)



Which also happens to be a page from my quotation journal, which I said I wasn't going to show until it was done (I lie!). The quote is:

Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
~GK Chesterton

And yes, it is supposed to be upside down. (don't ask me. ask my muse.) You can't see well in the pick-chur, but I am hella happy with the texture on this one. Old book pages (alas, 1984 I knew you well! *sniff*), heavy body paint sponged on for kind of a pebbly texture and then some sheer acrylic glazes. I like it. Another great thing about 30 days of quick work will be to stockpile ideas for fully developing more slowly later on. I will definitely revisit this particular texture.

So I am looking forward to a month of lots of art and beating dragons.

(PS Starting to feel better. Can you tell? ;)

Hug a Crazy Lady Today (but very, very carefully!)

I sat down to write a completely different blog post today...but it ain't workin'. My brain feels like it's wrapped in cotton, my temples are throbbing, there's a relentless weight of worry in my chest and I am sad, deep sad. Why? For no other reason than the date on the calendar, and the corresponding hormones in my bloodstream.

PMS strikes again.

It's a funny thing, PMS. It's become a punchline, great sit com fodder...the bitchy, erratic, weepy lady complaining about how bloated she is, biting people's heads off, pigging out on chocolate. I hate those stereotypes. They make us chicks look weak and flaky. They minimize our power and purpose. Yet here I am, feeling shitty, craving sugar, the whole nine yards.

It seems somehow undignified even to talk about. I bet Grace Kelly never stomped around her house like a crazed woman, breaking into ugly tears when she tripped over an errant rubber boot. And Audrey Hepburn certainly never stood by the fridge stuffing her face with mashed potatoes and chocolate cake with animalistic gusto. There's something a little raw and unladylike about even admitting to the PMS...what's next? period talk? musings over menopause? someone saying the word "vulva"?!? .gasp.

But once a month like clockwork a cloud descends. Nothing feels right, nothing tastes right. I feel way more anxious than usual...that weight in my chest, like something very bad has just happened or is about to, makes me not want to breathe or move. I get headaches. I get sad, full of an inexplicable grief that comes from nowhere, but smothers my spirit as surely as if it were real. Through this I fight, not to snap at my children and snarl at my husband although all the breathless anxiety makes me brittle with impatience. I fight to carry on with my everyday duties, and even with the things that usually bring me joy, because everything suddenly feels devoid of meaning, pointless, crushingly effortful, laborious, empty. And I fight really hard to remember that this is in fact hormonal, temporary and not reflective of what's actually going on in my life or who I am...or I might sink under all the sadness and make really bad choices in what is usually about 4 days of madness (how much damage could one do to their lives in 4 days? I shudder to think.)

So really it's no joke. Not for me.

Although a little levity delivered just so, often helps. (I pity the fool who attempts an ill timed bit of levity with me right now though...you know the stupid condescending man jokes, or the even stupider, even more condescending bits of catty "fun" from the women who don't get PMS.) But careful jokes from a hormonally challenged sister sufferer are never amiss, or even a little entertaining distraction from a sympathetic friend or husband...given carefully...oh so carefully...

The post I was supposed to write today is in there somewhere, but it'll have to wait until the cloud lifts and I am myself again. In the meantime I'll either be at my art desk painting out all the crazy or face-first in the fridge. See you in a couple days.

Story Books, Art & Too Much Computer

It's been a busy last few days. Months ago I got the email notification that 2007 Nanowrimo "winners" were being gifted with a free proof copy of their novels through Createspace (a self publishing dealie affiliated with Amazon), and I thought "Cool! I'd love to have a hard copy of my story in my hot little hands for free" and then promptly forgot all about it. So in typical E-style, with only a couple of days to go before the offer expires, I finally got to work on it.

Lemme tell you, formating your own novel for publishing is not for the faint hearted. You have to know stuff about PDF files and copyright, and you have to make all sorts of decisions from font size to what colour to use on the back cover, each of which make a surprisingly large difference to the tone and readability of your book. And then last minute I realized that I absolutely needed an image for the front (I was going to go with just text, but that looked horrible for a children's story), so yesterday afternoon found me at my art desk, wracking my brains for ideas.

The idea of the tree eventually came from one of my sons. And no, my last name isn't "Gecko". It's been changed for public posting (internet safety, kids!). So anyway, done. I opted not to make it available for sale on Amazon at this point. I may still query an actual publisher about it someday, and don't want to eff up my chances by self publishing. For now it'll just be cool to have copies available for friends and family.

I have also been working on loads of art. I started a new art journal. This one will be specifically for my favourite quotations, and then exploring and interpreting them with abstract mixed media. So far I love it! And I love working in it. It's not ready to show yet though, because one page flows into the next... I may try to do a video or slideshow or something when it's all done.

It is Georgia O'Keefe month over at Mixed Media Arts (formerly known as Gary Reef ning), and I've tried my hand at a couple of O'Keefe inspired works so far. It's hard to tell in the pic, but the green one has some really great texture created with Liquitex gloss super heavy gel applied with a palette knife under acrylic glazes. (paint is so fun to play with!)

Green Glass Flower, 9"x12" acrylic on canvas board

Georgia Shell, 10"x12" acrylic on manila paper

And I've been working to combine some of the techniques from the whimsical art style (girly, folk art) that I was doing in the course I recently completed with Tam at Willowing ning, with my own slightly rougher, darker, messier preferred style.

Clogging Up the Works, 9"x12" mixed media on canvas board

Dream-Caught 16"x20", mixed media on stretched canvas

Other than that, some ATCs, a mum's day painting in the works and a challenge for the colour brown at Willowing. BUT I have been on my butt in front of the computer working on the book for 3 days, and it is Spring out there peoples! I need some sunshine and some fresh air and some frolicking...or at the very least a little Spring cleaning and some asparagus for lunch. No more sitting or computer screens! ...for a few hours at least.

What a Mom Wants

Yeah, yeah, yeah, my children to be healthy and happy, world peace and all that etc. etc....but here's what I really want for Mother's Day, just in case anyone is wondering...

*cough, cough*this is for you honey, pay attention*cough, ahem*

1. Breakfast in bed.
I love breakfast in bed. What could be better than toast and tea on a tray, brought to you by little pride-shining faces? Although not too early please...

2. A walk.
Can we just go on a long walk together? Somewhere with trees. And the rules are that we don't have to go home if someone, say, sees a bug or gets a rock in their shoe, and there is no complaining if it is hot, cold, windy, bumpy, too bright, the sky is too blue, this tree just said something mean to me etc. I understand that you three guys prefer to admire nature from behind a glass partition, where there are no bees and dirt, but sometimes I really miss the outdoors.

3. A nice dinner.
And I don't mind cooking it, because I know I'll have lots of help, I always do...but the real gift would be not having anyone complain about anything unfamiliar, squidgey, or one food touching another. It would also be nice not to have to say things like, "please don't wipe your hands on your shirt", "no straws in noses" or "let go of your brother's [insert body part or untensil here]" at the table...just once.

4. I get to pick the movie.
There are only so many times that a woman can watch Indiana Jones and Star Wars in a row.

5. Presents.
I have an Amazon list and Etsy favourites. I really do like all the stuff I put on there. Choosing from the list does not mean that you're being unoriginal or boring, it means that you're spending your money on what I really, really want. Highlights would be: a piece by one of my favourite artists. Such as from Julie Prichard, Seth Apter or Gary Reef. Books! Like this or this or even this one. Art supplies, such as a table top easel or some stamp carving supplies or a fancy Golden paint or medium that I don't have yet would be great. You can't go wrong with art supplies. They are expensive, they're special, you simply can't have too many (believe it or not!?) and I will use them.

6. The best presents.
It sounds a little soppy, but the very best presents are always the ones that don't cost any money. Knowing that you or the boys have used your own time and creativity to make me something, makes it a treasure. There are reasons why I still have that pen made into a flower by L and that Lego MOM that E built for me...I love them.

That's about it really.

Now here's the part where I am supposed to say that being a wife and mum, is present enough in itself, don't put yourself out, don't spend too much money etc. And I will say some of it...the money thing, definitely. Times being what they are. And I do love being a mom...but really, knock yourself out babe. This year, perhaps more than ever, I wouldn't mind being spoiled a bit (well except for that year when the boys were about 2, and all I wanted for Mother's day was a nap. Remember those days?) It's been a tough year in spots, mothering-wise. A lot more conflict, a lot less appreciation (by the little guys, not you -xox), coming to grips with the Aspergers and trying to learn how to parent differently, trying to learn how to still have fun as they become less malleable, and more stressed out by the demands of school. I know you've felt it too, and you support me always (Father's day is coming...). But I am the one who goes head to head with them, in the trenches at home and at school figuring out how to help them best...when most of the time, they don't even want to be helped. And I get blamed for pretty well everything (what is it with boys and their mothers?). I reckon this is just the begiinning of this too...wait until puberty hits.

So you asked what I wanted, and there you have it.

Spoil me a little. I think I need it right now.

Heathen Pleasures

There are few times that being a non church goer is more satisfying than on Easter Sunday. Did we have to get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes, sit through long sermons and then fight the crowds at brunch? No way. It was pyjamas and chocolate bunnies and quiet at home for us.

What a fantastic day! After a painfully early wake up call from the little dudes, and the ensuing gleeful rush of finding eggs and following the clues to the loot (we don't do a plain old egg hunt, the Easter B. leaves us tricky clues inside plastic eggs, which have to be deciphered to find the treats ...think Easter meets Sherlock Holmes meets piratical treasure hunt!), the real fun began. We played. We lounged. We read Harry Potter. I did some art, they shot up some droids (Star Wars Battlefront, their fav!). And the DH and I cooked the best damn turkey dinner you ever did see! And it all seemed so effortless, we just puttered away at it slowly...a potato peeled here, a basting there and before we knew it a sumptuous feast had taken form (why can it never be that easy when there are guests?!).

The crowning glory, a Strawberry Cake:



Fresh strawberries, cream and marscapone sandwiched between layers of buttermilk vanilla cake, topped with a strawberry buttercream (my nod to the fact that I don't in fact want to end up weighing 300lbs was the fact that I didn't cover the entire cake with buttercream as in years past, but just the top. See healthy!)



So please do drop by today. Somebody has to help us eat all this leftover cake!


I'm putting the kettle on for you right now. :)

"My Life as Told By" Bandwagon

Following in the illustrious footsteps of Fire Eater, Front Rowe Seat and others, I'm sure:

My Life as Told By Cat Stevens
(Da Rulez: pick an artist, and using ONLY SONG TITLES from only that artist, cleverly (not sure how "cleverly" I managed this?) answer these questions)

1. Are you a male or female:
Hard Headed Woman
2. Describe yourself:
Trouble
3. How do you feel about yourself:
Miles From Nowhere
4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend:
The First Cut is the Deepest
5. Describe your current boy/girl situation:
I've Found a Love
6. Describe your current location:
Where do the Children Play?
7. Describe where you want to be:
Peace Train
8. Your best friend(s) is:
Father&Son
9. Your favourite colour is:
Bitterblue
10. You know that:
I Think I See the Light
11. If your life was a television show what would it be called:
Can't Keep It In
12. What is life to you:
On the Road to Find Out
13. What is the best advice you have to give:
If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out

And for your viewing pleasure, A Harold and Maude trailer featuring "If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out"



Possibly my all time favourite movie. I aspire to be Maude some day...except without the sex with barely post-pubescent, gormless looking young men (blech!).

Influences and Inspiration 3: Beautiful Sacrilege

Pre getting into art, I was getting into book making. Nothing too heavy duty (I don't have the patience or precision to be truly accomplished at any craft. It's gotta be loose and messy to work for me!), just some coptic bound journals and other cool little books, and as I researched I kept coming across and getting really excited about altered books. I love books and I love art, what could be better than the marriage of the two? But there was one big problem, when I sat down to begin my first book, I just couldn't do it. Cut up, paint on and otherwise "deface" a book? Horrors! I could not bring myself to make that first mark.

Part of this was a complete lack of faith in my own abilities. I know that altered book artists don't wreck books, they turn them into art, but I felt destructive, not creative. I simply could not see myself as an "artist" whose work was worthy of a book's demise. And the other part was the deep and abiding love I have for books. It is true love, and a good measure of lust. I love the way they smell. I love the way they feel. I find words and paragraphs and entire books that make me positively ache, they are just so good. Deeply satisfying, but never satiated, we have bookcases in every room and Dr. Seuss-like topply piles in corners and on tables, yet my Amazon wish list is still long, long, long. Rip up and draw on one of those sweet, sweet babies? Ouch.

I've only recently started using some book pages in my work, because I have a copy of George Orwell's 1984 that fell apart, literally and completely. And even then...that first page...hurt.

But there are some artists out there doing things so wondrous with books, that even I can't begrudge the volumes that are sacrificed. A few of my absolute favourites (click on the names for more, 'cause you're going to want more. They are so amazing!):

Jacquline Rush Lee

Brian Dettmer

Georgia Russell

For a book, I can't think of a nobler way to go. *sniff*

(Another link to more awesome altered books.)

Me and The Dancing Queen

My youngest sister is just 16. She loves Zac Effron, movie musicals, Inuyasha, ABBA, Christmas and all things Asian. She likes to spend her free time talking on the phone with her sisters, playing games or watching videos on the computer, and reading (books about movies, China, dogs and Asian cookbooks are her favourites). She is sensitive, funny, caring and very talkative. She also has William's Syndrome.

There are a lot of things that are difficult for her to understand or do, but there is also a lot that she is very good at...like singing, smiling (she beams!), brightening someone's day with a kind word or expression of affection, having an infectious, whole hearted enthusiasm for the things she likes, and earnestly "telling it like it is" with refreshing, often hilarious candour. It sounds trite, and it is often said of special needs children, but she has truly been a gift for our family.

Last week she came to stay with us while my parents were away on a business conference. I was a little worried about how she'd get on with her nephews...all three of them are at a similar stage as far as social maturity goes, and share some similar issues with rigidity etc., but other than a few "bumps" everyone did really well. Since it was also my guys' Spring break, we decided that everybody got to choose a special themed day, and food and activities to go with it. So we had "Pizza and Movie Day" (finally got to see Coraline! and it is visually STUNNING!), "Asian Day" (which also included an outing to the book store to look at all the manga that she's not allowed to read!), "Video Game Day", "Art & Reading Day" and "Do Whatever You Want Day". (Can you guess who picked each day?)

On "Art & Reading Day", the Dancing Queen and I worked on a special painting to hang in her bedroom. She wanted a beautiful girl, preferably a Geisha (but you know, not the kind that would do "blah, blah, blah" with men, but the kind that would just walk in her garden...obviously!). So all the whimsical folk art stuff that I've been learning over at Willowing's came in handy, and together we made this:

(mixed media, 16x12 on stretched canvas)

I was thrilled at how proud she was of it. Really thrilled. She's never participated much in art activities. Fine motor deficits make it hard for her to manipulate pencils, brushes, scissors etc. and sensory issues mean that the idea of getting stuff like paint on her hands or clothing can be upsetting for her. She was very quiet while we were working, and I often had to call her back to the table when it was time to do the next part, so I wasn't sure how much she was enjoying the process (sometimes it's hard to tell with the DQ), but the minute Mom and Dad came home she was proudly showing them her finished piece, and even asked me if I would help her work on more art to give as Christmas presents this year. Yay!

She lives about 5 hours away, so I am not sure how we could accomplish the joint Christmas girls art project...but I will figure out a way. There are some collaborations that are just too enriching, too challenging and too good to pass up.

"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen"