Happy Halloween!

I am sitting in the quiet of the eye of the storm. The houseful of loud, excited boys are now out trick or treating with the DH (who came directly from the airport after being away three days on business to trick or treating) and another friends dad. The tribe will be back directly for a break to warm up, and to no doubt gloat over their loot, and scarf down goodies, and to be gloriously silly.

Fall Comfort Baking

We have had our first couple of chilly, dark, blustery days. Fall is here without a doubt, but I am over of my end of summer denial and remembering that I do love this season too. The leaves are changing, the geese are on the wing, and my thoughts and tastes are turning to pumpkins and apples, and anything fragrant and warm and hearty.

Yesterday was just rainy enough to keep me indoors (lately I have been working doggedly on some exterior maintenance & improvement type things around the old homestead, trying to get finished before it gets too cold), and I baked up a storm. The fruits of my labours turned out so darn well -so gratifyingly homely and delicious, that I just had to share.

I made pumpkin bread!

Oh man, this stuff is good! So soft and light, and just gorgeous. The boys and I had some for breakfast this morning with sunbutter -yum! I didn't use a recipe. I just added pumpkin and spices to my usual white bread  and adjusted accordingly. Here's about what I did:

Pumpkin Yeast Bread

2c. warm water

4.5 tsp active dry yeast

2 tbsp granulated sugar

200ml pumpkin puree

½ c brown sugar

2 tbsp oil

1.5 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

½ tsp each allspice & ginger

¼ tsp each ground cloves & nutmeg

5-7 c all purpose flour

Proof the yeast with the 2 tbsp white sugar in the warm water. Add pumpkin, brown sugar, oil, salt & spices and 2 c of flour, and mix well. Continue adding enough white flour to make bread dough (approx 5-7 cups total), and knead.

Let rise twice in a large bowl, then shape as desired and rise again in well oiled loaf pans or other. Bake 375F for approx. 30 minutes for loaves. Makes a very light springy, soft bread. 

Pumpkin buns rolled in brown sugar & cinnamon before baking, for the boys' Wednesday night DnD crew.

Note: I used canned pumpkin. If I was using fresh pumpkin (roasted/steamed and pureed) I would be tempted to reduce the water to 1 or 1 1/2 cups and to add more pumpkin accordingly.

Also produced in yesterday's bake-a-thon -Pumpkin Pasties and Apple Cheese Hand-pies (pictured below). I tried this pastry recipe from a blog called Completely Delicious. I am no great hand at pastry, which is OK, because my mom is excellent at it, so she gets pie duty for family gatherings. But this recipe was non-annoying and the results were pretty good. I think I may have to start mucking about with more pies in the near future.

One More Day of Summer

I just dropped my boys off for the first day of grade 7. *gulp* I think they are well prepared. New clothes, backpacks, binders, meetings with teachers, a bevy of emails and phone calls, arranged a tour of the high school where they'll take practical arts, a summer of helping them weave those fragile strands of pubescent friendship a little tighter, 2 months immersion in family, leisure and ease. But still...The Worry. It is grey and raining, and I am a tangle of emotions. The house is too quiet.

I had promised a follow up tiki drink post with some recipes, and today seems a fitting time to do it. A little sunshine would do me good, even if it is only in a glass. Not that I am about to start drinking at 8:38am (we haven't quite gotten to that point yet), but the weatherman says that some September sunshine is coming our way next week, so this is a perfect reminder that we're not quite done with summer yet.

I have had a hard time choosing which recipes to share here. Some of the best of these drinks are almost absurdly complicated, and I don't want to scare anyone away, so I am going to share a few different recipes with low degrees of difficulty. Please note:

1. All recipes presented here are slightly bastardized versions of the original recipes, all of which can be found on Beachbum Berry's excellent Tiki + app, which for only $3.99 is one helluva bargain and highly recommended. Over a summer of sampling we've tweaked our favourite recipes to our own tastes, based on the ingredients readily available in our neck o' the woods. Please feel free to prefer the originals.

2. All juices mentioned are freshly squeezed. Yes, even the pineapple. It does take extra effort, but the finished product is sooo worth it.

3. Obviously rums are very important here. We try to keep our expenditure per bottle below $30 per 750ml (not so easy in Canada), so we are not using the really good stuff. However we have found some absolutely delicious mixing rums in our price range that blow the ubiquitous Bacardi out of the water. It is amazing the difference between various rums from different countries and distilleries. We've had some fun this summer getting a bit of rum education, and we've only barely scratched the surface. I've listed names below where we've settled on a "house brand". Use whatever you like in the category.

Painkiller 

difficulty: easy peasy (pictured above)

*1/2 oz gold rum (we used Mount Gay Eclipse)

*1/2oz Demerara rum (we used Lemon Hart)

*1 oz dark Jamaican  (we used Coruba)

*1 oz cream of coconut (not coconut milk, more like a thick, sweet coconut syrup, comes in a can with brand names like Coco Lopez & Coco Colada)

*3 oz pineapple juice

*2 oz orange juice

Blend all ingredients in a blender with a bit of ice until nice and frothy. Pour over crushed ice in a Tiki mug or Collins glass and garnish with a chunk of fresh pineapple. Grate a generous sprinkle of fresh nutmeg on top.

Navy Grog

(aka Trader Vic’s Navy Grog or Ancient Mariner, this one is rich and spicy and one of my favs) 

difficulty: intermediate

* ¾ ounce lime juice

* ¾ ounce pink grapefruit juice or 1/2 ounce white grapefruit juice (white is preferable to pink, but so hard to find nowadays)

* 1 ounce allspice syrup (see below)

* 1 ounce Gold rum (used Mount Gay Eclipse or Appleton v/x)

* 1 ounce Demerara rum (used Lemon Hart)

Put ingredients into cocktail shaker and shake well with lots of crushed ice. Pour into a double old-fashioned glass and top with more ice.  Garnish with lime wheel.

Allspice Syrup: Grind enough whole dried allspice berries to make 6 level tablespoons. Place the ground allspice in a saucepan with 1 cup sugar and 1 cup water. Bring it all to a boil, then cover and simmer for two minutes. Remove the saucepan from heat and — keeping it covered — let steep for two to three hours, then strain into a bottle and refrigerate. Will keep in refrigerator for a couple of weeks.

Potted Parrot

This drink is named for the garnish that Trader Vic's used to use; a ceramic parrot on a stick. It's like a rum Mimosa, very refreshing!

difficulty: easy (unless you make your own Orgeat)

Ingredients:

*2 ounces white/light rum (used Havana Club 3yr)

*1/2 ounce Cointreau or Triple Sec

*3 ounces freshly squeezed orange juice, strained

*1 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice

*1/4 ounce orgeat syrup (see below)
*1/4 ounce simple syrup (2:1 sugar to water, heat gently or shake vigorously to dissolve sugar)

Fill a cocktail shaker halfway with ice. Add the rum, Cointreau, orange and lemon juices, orgeat syrup and simple syrup. Shake well.

Fill a Collins glass with crushed ice. Strain the drink into the glass, then garnish with orange wheel and cherry.

Orgeat is an almond syrup. You can find it produced commercially with brand names like Monin, Torani, Trader Vic's, Finest Call, Routin etc. They vary greatly in flavour, quality and ingredients. Right now we have Torani Orgeat, which I wouldn't necessarily recommend. I find it rather overpowering (think almond extract).  With a better quality orgeat or homemade, I would be tempted to add 1/2oz and skip the simple syrup. If you have trouble sourcing orgeat and don't want to make homemade, you could  substitute 1/2oz Amaretto.

So there you have three extremely different cocktails, but all delicious. My absolute favourite tiki drink, the Jet Pilot, would rank as "involved" on the difficulty scale, so I have decided to save it for a post all on its own. At this rate I think I can get quite a few "one more days" out of this summer...

Living Like Kings

It is summer, and we are meandering through green and golden days saturated in abundance -pleasures and possibilities like fat, low hanging fruits ripe for the plucking. I am awash with gratitude these days. I wake with my heart resonating richly-harmonious, and fall asleep with a prayer of thanks on my lips. I am quietly and deeply glad, and oh, so appreciative of things great and small -my husband, my boys, my sisters, my friends, warm weather, long days, strong rum, bright skies, good food, my home.

It could possibly be the "best summer ever" (are people over the age of 14 allowed to say things like that?), and not for any particularly grand reason. We are mostly just hanging at home.

We put an above ground pool in the backyard for the boys, and they swim for hours every day, emerging from the pool hungry and happy and marijuana-mellow (not that I would know about such things); limbs strong and tan, and long hair bleached extra blonde from all the sun. It is the very best kind of therapy for them.

I have developed a burgeoning interest in tiki drinks. I couldn't even begin to explain why or how that one sparked, but it is without a doubt the DH's favourite of my obsessions so far. I've been learning terms like "rhum agricole" and "pimento dram", making my own homemade falernum, developing a half a crush on "Beachbum Berry", and enthusiastically concocting libations with such names as Zombie, Painkiller and Jet Pilot. I love the idea of these complicated, carefully balanced cocktails with an emphasis on fresh, premium ingredients and craftsmanship. These are something special. The exotic represented in a glass full of spice and sunshine.

I'll come back and post a recipe or two...another day I think. Right now I have to put my house in order, after a marvellous weekend with my next eldest sister, in preparation for the DQ's arrival (yay!).

P.S. We went to a local gallery yesterday, and were lucky enough to see "The Long Awaited" and other works by Patricia Piccini. My mind was all kinds of blown. They were such powerful, beautiful pieces, and completely took me by surprise. If you have the opportunity to see any of her works, I say run, don't walk, and go, go, go. Truly astounding, perspective expanding stuff.

Happy summer!

Critical Hit

This year we had a loosely themed party around gaming (choices of different games and consoles, along with tabletop RPG-ing). Above is the Creeper Cake (from Minecraft in case you're not up on such things), and below is the party gathered around the table doing a little adventuring, Dungeons and Dragons style.

I was more nervous about this one than I have been since they were kindergartners and we were throwing our first big Harry Potter bash. DMing for a group of 11 & 12 year olds, most of whom had never played D&D before, was no small feat! But with the DH's help keeping order, and my lovely sister Elizabeth holding down the kitchen side of things, we made it all work (+500xp for each of us!). The boys had an "AWESOME" time. E was so thrilled and hyped up on sugar he was gushing like a drunken prospector who'd just found gold, and L was so happy he took the sensory stuff in stride beautifully (12 year old boys are at least 1 year louder than 11 year old boys!).

So all the work (I'd be loathe to add up the hours and hours...) was well worth it. I can't go to school with them and point out which kids look friendly, and which aren't. I can't stand behind them when they're talking to a peer, and act as interpreter for tone of voice and facial expressions. I can't keep them from social blunders, like you would keep a toddler from a hot stove. I can't wipe away all the stress and hurt of day after day of facing a world that feels so alien and hostile to them.  But what I can do is plan a Kick Ass Birthday Party once a year that kids are practically lining up to come to, that shows my sons and their skills and interests in the best possible light, and that greases those social wheels. L has been struggling so hard with the friend thing lately, or rather the absence of, but The Kick Ass Party has given him conversation fodder and confidence. He has been able to reconnect with a couple of kids who were open to friendship before, but L couldn't see it, he needed something concrete like them coming to his party for him to feel comfortable approaching them, and being approached. Yesterday at school he was invited to be part of a group of boys (the ones he had invited to his party) for a project, instead of the teacher having to place him in a group, and he was willing to join (he often isn't). Yay!

Merry Nerdmas!

Since we got back from our holiday (which was fantastic, BTW!), we've been decompressing with quiet pursuits. Watching Big Bang Theory (the boys love this show! And no wonder...we find Sheldon very easy to relate to around here...), playing Minecraft, reading Lord of the Rings -y'know, nerd stuff.

I have never approached the Christmas season less involved, less prepared or more relaxed. It has been kind of lovely to do everything a bit backwards this year, and to forgo anything and everything that we aren't in the mood for. For example the tree got a resounding "yes", but the other decorations...meh, not this year. Watching holiday shows also got a big fat "meh", exception being the Doctor Who Christmas Special! (like I said in the title, it's a nerdmas.) Baking treats...natch. Mailing X-mas cards...nein. We will forgo the Christmas Tree Festival, but still plan on our pilgrimage to the food bank (of course). Buying presents for each other -not so much so, but we got some cool stuff in Florida for teachers, helpers etc.

We aren't travelling to spend Christmas with sisters & parents this year either, and this is bittersweet. I love spending time with them, and I wouldn't want to do it this way every year, but for one year? A quiet Christmas with just the four of us sounds like heaven. We have big plans involving food, video games and more food. The boys want all the traditional Christmas fare, and I'm happy to oblige, and they don't know it yet, but we got them a new game system. Shhhhhh. We weren't supposed to buy anything, Florida being our present this year. They are such good, non stuff-oriented kids. They didn't even flinch when a visiting kid exclaimed with horror, "Is that all you have under your tree?! Where are your presents?!" (this kid went to Florida twice last year, and had a bigger Christmas than our kids have/will ever see...oh the joys of wealthy, divorced parents!). The grandparents who didn't go on the trip with us wanted to go in on something, and we found we didn't want to say no. We wanted to say "YES", and so we did, and I am excited. I think gift giving is the most fun when there is absolutely no expectations of receiving.

Anyhoo, we are well, and happily relishing home and hearth after being away. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas...or nerdmas if you will.

Nerd-gerbread Cookies, a gift for E&L's nerdy cool EA.
From left to right: Howard, Leonard (top), Sheldon & Raj

Clones.

On the Clock

I have exactly 38 minutes to write this post and catch up on as much of blogland as I can.
("Make haste! Make haste!" as Mr. Collins would say when his noble patroness was not to be kept waiting.)


The Party

The Party was wonderful. The calvary arrived on Friday night in the form of 3 of my sisters, 2 to help mightily with the party prep and one, the DQ, to be full of love and enthusiasm and keep everyone's spirits high, and the party went off without a hitch. 3 and a half hours of video games, junk food and uproarious fun. There is simply no word in the English language to describe the wildly pitched cacophony that 14 pre pubescent boys can make when they get together. Ears still ringing. But fun. BIG fun. Worth every minute of work. Below is the cake, with a quarter for scale.

We sent home very tired, but satisfied boys, and heard a resounding chorus of "best party ever!". Woo hoo! Whatever I can do to grease those social wheels for my boys is so worth it.

The More DQ

She is staying for a little more than a week. I am thrilled! At Christmas she was ill, and unable to really participate or connect much, and it feels like a long while since we've had quality sister time. Right now she is on the other computer playing games where she decorates cakes and cooks stuff. Food is really her biggest passion right now, so we elected this as Kitchen Goddess week. She has chosen a different dish for us to make every day, so expect some food blogging this week (hasty food blogging, because between her needs and the boys I will be kept on my toes!).

The DQ measuring fish sauce for last night's Vietnamese Chicken & Green Beans.

OK I am off. Time's up.

Adventures in Spritz

One of the boys had Very Specific Ideas about what kind of cookie he wanted for Christmas this year. The round kind. The white ones, that taste like butter. They have green and red bits in the middle. They have vanilla and sugar in them. You know, those ones.

So we looked through pictures of cookies online (what did people do before Google? I can't even remember) until he found just the ones he was thinking of, which turned out to be Spritz cookies with glacé cherries in the middle. What is a mom to do when her son has such specific ideas about what will make Christmas just right? Learn how to make eggless Spritz cookies, that's what. Eggless because my sons have allergies...lots of  'em and some very severe ones, like to egg.

I tested a couple of recipes that just weren't up to snuff taste or texture-wise, then came up with what we think are the perfect crispy, tender, buttery, not too sweet little morsels of delight. Here's our recipe:

Eggless Spritz Cookies

Cream together, until very light and fluffy:

1.5 c. butter (use earth balance margarine instead to make it vegan)

1 c granulated sugar

Then add and beat well:

2 tbsp milk (soy for vegan)

2 tbsp water

1-2 tsp vanilla

Mix together, then add gradually, mixing well:

3.5 c all purpose flour

1.5 tsp baking powder

.5 tsp baking soda

2 tsp cornstarch

We then divided our dough into 4 equal parts so that we could make the different varieties of cookies pictured above. To the cookies with glacé cherries we added .5 tsp of almond extract (imitation for us due to allergies, which is actually made from peach pits), and then pressed half a cherry into the middle before baking. To the green trees we added .5 tsp of peppermint extract and some green food colouring, then sprinkled with green sugar before baking. To the clover shaped ones we added .5 of orange extract and the zest from about half an orange, and then glazed them with a citrus glaze after they were baked and cooled. To the brownish ones, freshly ground cardamom and cinnamon and then a drizzle of cinnamon, vanilla glaze when they were cooked and cooled (these are my favs). All of the cookies were made using a Wilton cookie press. My first time using, but a few of tips gleaned from online made it an easy smooth experience.

1. You need a pan without non stick coating.

2. This pan must be very clean (no residual grease from the previous batch), ungreased, dry and cold. I stuck my pans on a shelf in my freezer between batches.

3. You need the batter to be room temperature, soft and workable.

By following these steps your cookies stick to the pan rather than the cookie press. So you use the gun to shoot the cookies onto the cool, ungreased cookie sheet (just follow the instructions that come with), then decorate if you choose, then bake 375F for 10-ish minutes depending on your oven (watch your first batch like a hawk and then bake the rest accordingly). This recipe makes a lot of gorgeous little cookies...like 7-8 dozen a lot. But they are small, you need 2 or 3...or 4 to make proper serving.

So there you have it. The boy with the Very Specific Ideas was mollified, and we have several dozens of  these darling ickle cookies stashed in the freezer for Christmas (we ate quite a few too).

9 more sleeps, and only 7 until we are all officially on holiday together. Both the boys and the DH have 2 weeks off this year, and this is the part I am soooo looking forward to. The time. No school, no work, sleeping in, games and yummy foods and playing in the snow.

Revealing Gifts

So last night the DH and I snuggled on the couch and watched 30 Rock and The Office, while the boys drew comic books. (this is their PASSION right now. They are each averaging 2-3 3 page comics a day! The subject matter is widely varied, but always humorous, often violent and just a leetle twisted. Very amusing stuff.) It was nice to just sit together quietly after another action packed day.

On The Office, Jim & Pam exchanged Christmas gifts. Jim surprised her with a diamond bracelet (she cried), and Pam lovingly and laboriously drew him a comic book, and presented it with much hope and nervousness (he was speechless with joy). Cute? Kinda? Meh. It left me with a squirmy feeling inside.

I am actually not good at the gift thing, neither giving nor receiving. I didn't grow up in a gift giving culture. We didn't celebrate Christmas or birthdays, and taking pleasure from or putting emphasis on material possessions was most certainly frowned upon. Giving a gift is generally not on my radar screen when I think of ways to show appreciation or affection. I think there are better ways.

Receiving gifts comes with this whole dance of expectation, and ritual of responses. Maybe it's my inherent Aspieness, but I don't much like surprises, and I am not particularly astute at picking up on the more subtle social cues or acting out the required niceties. Don't get me wrong, I like pressies as much as the next guy (did I mention the 10th doctor sonic screwdriver and Tardis cookie jar sitting on my desk right now? Spoils of the HP birthday party.), but the actual receiving of the gifts often leaves me feeling awkward and embarrassed. Did I smile big enough? Say thank you with the correct tone and enthusiasm? Did the giver leave feeling that their effort was appreciated and knowing how much I value them? And sometimes I just get overwhelmed, especially at Christmas or birthdays when I am receiving multiple gifts. It all just feels like too much, and I start to think of little kids in Africa, and the camps in Haiti and the families right here in my own city who are suffering and don't have enough, and here I am like Dudley Dursley with a stack of presents so big I can't see over the top.

If the DH presented me with a diamond bracelet, I would probably throw up.

(wet blanket, I know.  No one likes that person, snuffing out the festivities with a cold splash of guilt on Xmas morning.)

Pam's gift was handmade. I love the handmade gifts best of all. I feel my happiest, and like I am giving of my best when I give them, and of course, love, love, love to receive them, but not everyone gets or loves receiving the homemade stuff...so there is the suspense. I loathe the suspense. You spend hours meticulously crafting something, sweat of your brow, love in every step, and then you get the wave of panic. It's not perfect. It's actually pretty flawed. Will they like it? Will they get it? Would they rather have just had a gift certificate to Amazon?

There's also the pressure that TV shows, commercials and every flyer and billboard all contribute to. Have you gotten your loved one something spectacular this year? We see cars with giant bows on them. Jewelery galore. Electronics, vacations, big ticket, big money, must equal BIG joy items. On the other side of the coin soppy movies and commercials (still selling us stuff but more subtly), telling us that if every gift giving moment with your family this Christmas, whether the gift is big or small, boughten or made, is not as warm and fuzzy as a Coca Cola polar bear and as sentimental as a Hallmark card you have failed. Big red rubber stamp across your forehead. CHRISTMAS FAIL. Your children didn't squeal with glee as they ripped off the paper. Your wife didn't well with tears and throw herself into your arms. Grampa didn't have a tender moment of finally understanding how much he means to you, as he looked at his new sweater and pipe. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

I watched that show last night and had a moment of doubt. You know what I bought the DH this year? First of all, something we can afford on our modest Christmas budget. Second of all, something he wants. He knows exactly what he's getting. There's no big surprise. It is something fun. Something he wouldn't spend the money on for himself. He will open it, and feign surprise to please the boys, and give me a kiss and say thank you. He'll enjoy it, but it is not going to be some big revelation of my love for him. He won't be rendered speechless or get all verklempt. It's just a nice thing to have, nothing more. Does this mean I get the fail stamp on my forehead?

Obviously I've been ruminating about gifts and their meaning, and the whole societal culture around gift giving, and thinking hard about what I would give the DH if I could give him absolutely anything. What kind of gift would be a revelation of my love to him? And I keep coming back to exactly where I started, there are better ways to show love and appreciation than giving gifts.

Back BK (before kids), we lived in an old yellow farmhouse in the country. It had a glassed in porch on the front of the house where we left our coats, shoes etc. This was unheated. One particularly cold winter, each afternoon as I was rushing out the door to work, I could not find my boots. It was maddening. They were never where I'd left them the night before. I would scramble around the house searching and eventually locate them somewhere on the main floor, and tear off for work in a huff. I came up with a theory that it must have been the dogs (we had two), although I could never figure out how (they would've had to open the door to the porch somehow) or catch them at it. One night in quizzical frustration I shared all this with the DH, and he said, half shamefaced, half amused, "It was me. I didn't want your feet to be cold, so every morning before I go to work, I move your boots to a heat register to warm up."

And that my friends, is a gift.

A revelation of love far better than any diamond or iphone or flat screen TV. He didn't want my feet to be cold. He thought of my comfort with no prompting from a holiday or a TV commercial, and no expectation of anything in return. In that moment I felt surprised and valued, and as warm and fuzzy and sentimental as can be.

Chocolate Spicy Love Cookie, the DH's favourite kind

Only 14 more sleeps until Christmas! I hope your holidays are filled with gifts, filled to bursting! And that they are the kind of gifts that come "...without ribbons! [That come] without tags! [That come] without packages, boxes, or bags!" ...the kind that reveal love.

At it Again

So this afternoon found me making cupcakes...again. 3 weeks ago I was making 200+ cupcakes for my 2nd youngest sister's wedding (with the help of the lovely and talented Elizabeth), and the experience concluded with me pleased and proud, covered from head to toe in icing sugar and completely, 100% cupcaked OUT.

Still, here I am today making 5 dozen for the boys to sell at our neighbourhood combined garage sale tomorrow (Christmas fund!), and an extra dozen for us to scarf down ourselves (because obviously yes, my hips totally need another layer of buttercream).

You may have noticed that this has become a bit of a thing for me, and it all started with this book. I swear the day I bought it the angels choired, and stars somewhere collided. How many years of fruitlessly struggling to make decent cakes without eggs?! And now a whole book of quality working recipes (because there are a lot of really cruddy eggless/vegan recipes and cookbooks out there). When a cookbook ends up looking like this, you know it's gotta be good:

Anyway, cupcake recipes with no eggs, safe for my boys, and a mom who loves baking = serendipity.

 And here I am at bedtime (I started this blogpost at approx 2:00pm). Cupcakes made and decorated, adorable banner created by sons, a garage full of formerly loved, chipped and besmirched toys (nothing ends up mint in the box around here! Sorry Uncle Craig, you should see the sad, sad super hero graveyard from all your generous gifts of yesteryears. It would make a collector snotty bawl and tear their hair!) all priced to clear, two zonked boys upstairs and two exhausted parents ready for some red wine and Dr. Who before they hit the hay. Hope your weekends are good.

... and keep your fingers crossed for two shy, yet determined boys manning a cupcake stand tomorrow (brisk sales and no jerks would be real nice!).

#28 Blue is Not Blue

~


#28 Today is the day that we knocked off #41 on our Summer List, paint with spray paint. We set up a table outside on the grass and went to town. I remembered why I don't like spray paint (stinky, chemical-y, yuck) and why I do (so much fun to make subtle layers, so many interesting effects). This piece is actually silver, navy and white, but it photographed a lovely sort of turquoise? Not complaining though.

We are beginning our 2nd full week of summer. The boys are slowly decompressing...getting more energetic, more engaged, more curious. They have made amazing strides in learning Game Maker in just one week! I wish their school teachers could see them...textbook in one hand, computer mouse in the other, determinedly focused for hours at a time, absorbing, creating, challenging themselves!

On Friday we had our first collaborative family dinner (we did this weekly last year during summer, but had to stop during the school year because the boys were too drained to be able to wrap their heads around all the sensory and organizational challenges that are cooking). E chose and prepared (with a "little" help) the main course (yummy, yummy pasta and meatballs below), and L the dessert (trifle with vanilla, raspberry and lemon, so good!). We also had grissini and eggless Ceasar salad.

Next week E gets to choose the dessert and wants to make a massive chocolate layer cake...yes, the slimming, which has hitherto been going well, is starting to get a bit challenging...

Other than that, planetarium trips, episodes of Dr. Who and many other equally and delightfully nerdy pursuits are filling our days. Nerd summer FTW!

PS As I mentioned in my previous post, The Harry Potter Alliance are now neck in neck for the top prize in the Chase Community Giving contest. If you are opposed to the Dark Arts and into seeing love triumph over evil IRL (specifically love in the form of humanitarian efforts, literacy and equal rights for LGBT) then pop on over and vote today!

The Very Elegant Tea Party

~

Like Broccoli For Gorgonzola

Just finished reading Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel again (rereads FTW!). It is, as I remembered it, not a great read by any means (I just want to smack Pedro, ugh!), and way too romance novel-esque for my usual tastes. So what brought me back for another read? The food. The beauty of this book is the enticing way that food is entwined with the story (this is translated very well in the visually sumptuous movie of the same name, and I would actually recommend watching that over the book unless you are particularly interested in food or generally enjoy the romance genre.). Each chapter begins with a recipe, and the action unfolds as what they eat and how they prepare it takes on near mythical proportions in the lives of the central characters. I like this idea of the power of food to create a sense of home and tradition, to evoke memories, to bind people together, to speak of emotions, and to enrich each day as it comforts, sustains and delights us. The fact that the act of eating, so necessary for our survival, can also be so pleasurable is truly a gift.

For example I wake up every morning looking forward to a well made cup of Earl Grey tea. Such a simple thing, but every morning I am comforted by its warmth and aroma as it helps to ease my most emphatically non-morning self into my day. (it also very much helps that the DH makes it for me whenever he can, tea made by someone who loves you tastes twice as good as tea you make yourself...I am not exactly sure of the scientific principles behind this, but I know it's a fact)

I have been thinking a great deal about my relationship with food lately (likely the reason for the rereading of Like Water For C), because I am slimming down. I am saying no to the sugar and the cheese. No to the second helping. No to the wine with dinner and the after dinner drink. No to the chocolate. (there may have been a small tear in the corner of my eye as I said that last one...*sniff*) For the first few days of the "slimming regime" (not calling it a diet, I hate that word) I was feeling pretty deprived. Craving sugar like a mad woman, hungry all the time, and I mean hOngry...my body was calling "food, food, food" like a drunken frat boy chanting "chug" by the keg, and it was a constant fight to ignore it. I wasn't starving, I'd just gotten used to eating too much, and particularly too much sugar. In my defense the DH works for a

major confectionery company and our house is full of samples...

*whispers in voice reverberating with awe* Choc-O-late samples.

I am a mere woman made of flesh & blood, not stone. Can you feel my pain? My husband is Willy Wonka, and I have gained about 22 pounds in the last 3-4 years.

But time for a change.

After the first few days it suddenly got way easier. I realized how balanced and healthy our diet is, sans all the extra calories from sweets and with a few adjustments (no cheese, no booze, smaller portions, a little more fruit & veg), the extra pounds have begun to come off.

But the beautiful thing, and the point I am trying to come to here, is that not only has my love affair with food not been stymied by more spartan habits, but it has been enhanced. My tastebuds, inundated with sugar and blanketed in cocoa butter, were failing to appreciate the simpler fare. I can't even describe how good a lovely organic apple is tasting to me lately...how sweet, how complex! And the food I've been preparing for self and family is getting rave reviews. I think this is because what is going into our food right now (after those first few days), isn't a sense of scarcity and depravation, but a sense of joy in the simple things and an increase in care for every nutrient they provide...and I swear we can taste it.

Now don't get me wrong, I am going to be really glad when I am back to maintenance calories and can add back in that slice of brie, glass of wine (or two) and occasional dessert. Really glad. But for now at least, I am relieved and kind of surprised that my food lust is working for me not against me in this endeavour. Yay! Because I just can NOT be one of those "food is for fuel only" people...that is like saying sex is only for procreation! Nein, nein, nein. Food is for pleasure. For celebrations. For creativity. For comfort. For friends and families coming together around a table to share their meals and their lives. But happily, simple, healthful foods can fit the bill for these with pleasing grace.

So in honour of the food and the book, and people who love food (a lot) but don't want to end up breaking the bathroom scale, a recipe. Simple and healthy, but good to eat.

Broccoli Soup

-sauté 1 onion in 1 tbsp olive oil until translucent, (add a few grinds of pepper as you sauté)

-add broccoli and cauliflower broken into florets (the ratio should be 2:1 more broccoli than cauliflower...when last I made this I had about 750g of broccoli and half as much cauliflower. This can be made nicely without the cauliflower, but the cauliflower does add an undertone of sweetness and some creaminess to the texture)

-cover with good flavourful chicken stock (if using commercially made, make sure it has no MSG and check the sodium levels, some are disgustingly salty)

-add a couple tbsp of fresh thyme or a tsp of dried

And that's it! Simmer until your veg are tender, add about a cup of milk (add soy milk and veg stock instead of the chicken above if you want to keep this vegan) and then puree to desired consistency (my boys like it perfectly smooth, I would rather a leetle texture. You may need to add more stock to get the consistency just right, and then heat through again). Adjust seasoning, and eat plain or garnish with things like fresh chopped parsley or thyme, diced tomatoes or cheese...a grating of old cheddar, a crumble of feta or to elevate this dish to something a little special, a few slivers of Gorgonzola.

And whatever you are eating, enjoy your food!

You know I will be.

Cupcake Friday

-


If you were a 10 year old boy who had a tough week, schoolwork was hard, your teacher was just not picking up what you were laying down, there was this stupid kid named Brian who was supposed to be your friend, but for some reason he was trying to get you into trouble, and social skills are not your forte, and it was all just so confusing and frustrating and overwhelming... would you feel better if you came home to warm cupcakes on a Friday afternoon?

I am betting on yes.

Chocolate Coconut Cream Cupcakes (some glazed & some not) and Banana Chocolate Chunk Cupcakes cooling on the counter. And I am off to pick up my boys from school.

Happy Friday everyone!

Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope...

The view from my window this morning:



It's not that it's so cold, or that there's so much snow (I mean, 6 foot snow banks and -40C aren't unusual around here), it's the wind making it miserable. It is a blustery day. The house is shaking. The snow is racing past my window. The sky is opaque white. Brrrr. I was wondering how I was going to even get my sons from the car to the school, they are such thin, little lightweights, I was picturing myself flying them in like kites (think Piglet on his blustery day!), but they are alas, under the weather this morning (not too sick, just sick enough to make being cozy at home on a day like today very appealing).

And I am glad to be at home today too, weather notwithstanding, I have a lot to be getting on with. There is a big event coming up in exactly 25 days! The second biggest holiday in our calendar year, only just after Christmas in energy expended and joyful anticipation...my sons' birthday! Every year, I try to do something really special. I figure, since they are twins and share a party, it has to be twice as cool! Also, since they are kids who tend to struggle socially, I don't think it hurts to have a Very Awesome Birthday Party...greases the wheels, so to speak.

We have done themes such as trains, pirates, Lego and Harry Potter (my favourite one, of course!) in the past. This year it is all about Star Wars. We have been talking, dreaming, eating, BREATHING Star Wars since a few days after Christmas. My sons had their notepads out planning their party before the last holiday guest was even gone...and their plans are big.

There is talk of an Imperial Star Destroyer cake.

*gulp*

I am happy to do it. It is always sooooo worth it, to see how happy and proud they are, and I love the way their plans all revolve around how to please and delight their friends...not a thought to what they, themselves will get out of it. But I'd be lying if I said this Star Destroyer cake wasn't giving me pause. Although I love getting jiggy with the icing sugar, I am far from a professional baker and we are limited ingredient-wise due to their severe allergies. I got my hand in this weekend when I made a Darth Maul cake for one of their buddies (eggless, so that E&L could share the cake at the party too).

But that was easy, just a face on a sheet cake (but of course, being me, I did still stress over it).

So I will need to summon all my Force power to get this party (and ginormous, elaborate cake!) off the ground...25 days and counting...

Heroics

The picture was taken whizzing along the highway at 110km as we made our way to the DQ's surprise b-day party. 10 hours of driving there and back in 24 hours, but worth every minute. Everyone should get a moment in life to be the hero. On Saturday I had my moment. I was the DQ's hero. She didn't just hug me when she saw me, she bellowed my name with ear drum-shattering gusto, launched herself into my arms and tackled me to the ground! She was flabbergasted and overjoyed. (how often do you get to use both of those in a sentence? Nice.) And how good did it feel to be me in that moment?

Pretty damn good. Pretty damn good, indeed. :)

The DQ has a friend now, for the first time in her life. He is like 6'4" and thin as a rail, and she is about 4'9" and a little on the plump side. They look like a string bean and a pea side by side, but they have the most wonderful, simpatico energy. They both love dogs and food, and approach life with pure, undiluted enthusiasm. He was every bit as excited as she was, as she opened each of her gifts.

"Look, look the Disney Princess calendar comes with a DVD Rom! A DVD ROM!"

And then they would both lean over the gift, oohing, aahing and exclaiming "that's wonderful! how wonderful!", and grinning big gleaming grins that enveloped the whole room. For the DQ to have a friend and a peer (he has his own special needs too), is an answer to wishes and prayers. Won-der-full!

Since we've been home it has been a flurry of activity. Elizabeth arrived Monday morning, but it seems we've barely had a chance to visit...so many loose ends to tie up for the big day, BUT yesterday we made unbusy time for a nice dinner out, and an afternoon making gingerbread. It was supposed to be gingerbread house making time, but the boys had other ideas...


I'm always happy to break with tradition for something even better! The boys want me to publicly acknowledge that they did not make Princess Leia in the metal bikini, that was all me. ;) Tonight we had more unbusy time to go to a local Christmas light display.

And we are so close...2 more sleeps. I hope you are all well, and full of wholehearted enthusiasm for anything and everything good in your life. Watching the DQ and her buddy on Saturday, I kept thinking that if we could just bottle that unbridled joy, and unquestioning, uncomplicated pleasure in the satisfaction/excitement/comfort of this one particular moment that we are in right now as we live it, the world would be a far, far better place.

Merry Christmas!

Buoyant

Today life seems very, very good. I mean this week, and yesterday in particular was full of worries and struggles...but it doesn't seem to matter, does it?

Life is good.

I wish I had time to make art today, because I am so in that mood. But today is another full day. Christmas prep and packing for a short, crazy, lotsa driving, one overnight trip that we are about to take to surprise someone very, very special for her birthday.

I did however, finish one slap and dash journal page.



No words. I think I may add some at some point, but for now it speaks of my mood. The warm splashes of colour, the rough texture, the haphazard, spontaneous, messiness...because that's life, right? One person screws you over, but the next is unbelievably kind, one hour finds you rejoicing and the next tearing at your hair in frustration...the light and the dark. And this Christmas feels like a lesson in both...my husband's work BFF was just diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease, our neighbour and her children are spending their first Christmas since they lost father and husband to lung cancer...but then there are new babies and birthday surprises and big, big boxes under the tree and Candy Cane Cupcakes...



And that's what it is, both, chiaroscuro...light and dark, buttercream and bullshit. Right now, today, I just feel unbelievably lucky. This season is fairly bursting with treats and love and things to look forward too. There have been some trying moments this week, but I seriously just couldn't keep myself down if I tried.

Life is good.

PS Only 7 more sleeps.

Nuts

Yeah, nuts. And rats, and dammit and bloody hell and dammit all to hell. (nice beginning to a Christmas post isn't it? but such is life...chiaroscuro, remember?)

So Sunday we did our annual nut factory thang. We individually scrubbed, cracked, blanched, roasted and ground enough nuts for Panforte, Linzer sables and Baklava. It took us four hours, but that was OK, we watched all the extras on my new HP and the Half Blood Prince DVD (man, did they ever flub the ending!) and laughed and joked, broke two nut crackers and generally had a pleasant time. It is quite literally a labor of love, which always makes a repetitive, time consuming job seem so much less tedious (like most of motherhood!). We do all of this meticulous nut preparation so that our son Liam, who is allergic to peanuts, but not tree nuts can share in these special Christmas treats. Almost all nuts that you can purchase have been cross contaminated with peanuts during processing, therefore in order for us to have "safe" ground walnuts for the Baklava we have to scrub, crack and grind those puppies ourselves. This has been something special we do, just at Christmas, so that our sons can have a taste of foods that are otherwise off limits.

Yesterday, using the fruits of our labors, I made the Panforte (with homemade candied citrus peel too, these are also usually cross contaminated with peanuts), and proudly presented my family with a slice of the finished product after dinner.


It was very good. Rich, sweet, chewy. Yum.

Shortly after consuming his piece, Elliot started complaining of an "itchy tongue", after another few minutes his face had broken out in hives. Yes, he had an allergic reaction. This is our son without nut allergies. Who outgrew an early peanut allergy and is required to eat peanuts on a regular basis to keep his immune system recognizing that they are not a threat. Who was down to only one food allergy to eggs, much to our grateful relief (even though it is a severe allergy, it is so much easier to deal with than his brother's complicated list of multiple anaphylactic allergies).

*groan*

The reaction was not life threatening, but it was still very scary. He has obviously developed a new allergy to hazelnuts or almonds. I want to cry. I just want to cry.

The chances had looked pretty good for E outgrowing his food allergies. Over half of children with food allergies do. This would have meant him not having to wear his epi belt (containing a syringe of life saving epinephrine) everywhere he goes, not having to be scrupulously careful about every morsel of food that goes in his mouth or even what he touches, being able to get fast food, go to the movies, go to a birthday party without all the preparation and planning normally required...in other words a chance to be more of a regular kid, a chance to drop the constant vigilance surrounding food and have so much less of a burden on his small shoulders (because worrying about dying if you eat the wrong thing is a lot for a kid to carry). Our hopes for L outgrowing anaphylaxis are tiny to non-existent, he is simply that much more allergic, but things were looking good for E...until yesterday...developing a new allergy at 9 years old points in the opposite direction.

Did I mention I want to cry?

10 more sleeps until Christmas...and I am off to very carefully, and rather joylessly bake those Linzer sables and Baklava that I prepped for yesterday, which will be eaten with furtive caution only by the grown ups. (will be making a safe version of the Linzers for E & L with regular eggless sugar cookie dough)

Heaven Smells Like Gingerbread

This post is coming at cha 3 days later than intended. As my tweeps and gerds already know, I had a computer meltdown. The dreaded BSOD upon startup. Lucky for me, as well as being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking (*blue steel*), my husband has mad computer skillz. I am now back up and running, with no data loss (haven't backed up in about 4-5 months, bad me). Thank you DH!

The silver lining in having my beloved laptop down for several days was that my productivity increased by at least 60%. It is amazing how much you can get done without the constant distraction of twitter, email, blogland etc. Presents were wrapped, banisters were swathed in garlands and twinkle lights, cards were written, packages packaged, and I baked 1 million dozen gingerbread cookies (possible slight exaggeration), and a few dozen Brandy Snaps.

Gingerbread cookies are our staple Christmas treat. I make scads, leaving them plain without icing or candies, figuring that way the boys can have them as snacks throughout December without wreaking too much havoc on themselves nutritionally. Really they are not so bad, much lower in fat and sugar than most other cookies, with some iron from the molasses...it could be worse. And the smell of them while baking! It's everything good about home and Christmas and warm things made with love. Yay!


I use the same gingerbread recipe as my Grandmother used. Our only generational Christmas recipe, because after long years of not keeping Christmas most of our traditions are ones we've started from scratch in recent years. I use this recipe in its original form, which for me is huge. I tweak and adjust and substitute ingredients with wild abandon when I'm in the kitchen, but this recipe was already perfect. Simple, trustworthy, and versatile in texture (can be hard and strong for gingerbread houses or soft and chewy depending on baking time and storage).

Our Gingerbread

1 1/2 c. molasses (I use a combo of Blackstrap and lighter cooking molasses)
1c. lightly packed brown sugar
2/3c. cold water
1/3c. butter (or Earth Balance margarine to make them vegan)
7c. unbleached all purpose flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. ground dried ginger
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp each of allspice, cinnamon and cloves

Cream butter and sugar together. Add molasses and water, mix well. Combine dry ingredients, and add slowly. Cover and chill 2 hrs. Roll out as desired. Bake 10-12 min @ 350F on parchment lined baking sheets.

The fresher the spices the better, and do "fluff up" your flour with a fork before measuring. This makes a lot of rather heavy batter, using a stand mixer is best, but if you have to hand mix enlist the help of someone strong. And yes, you should chill the dough, but if you are impatient/rushed like I often am, it is workable right away (at least it is in a cool house).

Hope everyone's holiday prep is going well. 13 more sleeps!

Cookie, Cookie, Cookie Starts With C

As of yesterday the first tins of cookies are stashed away in the downstairs freezer, far away from hungry little hands (can hands be hungry? sure they can, absolutely). These are not the first cookies I've made this season, just the first to make it unmolested into my "For Christmas" stash.

I made Tiffany Snowflakes, which turned out a bit wonky and crooked and my perfectionism was getting all in an uproar, until I realized that my cutter must have gotten squished in the drawer causing the cutouts to be all out of alignment, so I shrugged and made them as purty as I could anyway. I am no great shakes at detail work to begin with...all thumbs, always will be, so I have learned to embrace a certain amount of wonkiness over the years. It adds character, right?



Then I made Spicy Chocolate Love Cookies. Yeah, baby! What do you think Santa will put under your tree if you leave him some of these on Christmas Eve? Something a little naughty, no doubt. ;)



Close up food porn shots:





Mmmmmmm...oh yeah...baby...that's just how I like it. The recipe is a tweaked version of these lovely ones on Luna Cafe.

16 more sleeps...