Machinations

I've been working on this one artwork for awhile. I was savouring it, babying it along, slowly building up textures and layers with collage and glazes (thank you Julie and Layer Love!). But then I got stuck...not because I didn't know what to do, or had a problem and couldn't fix it, but stuck because I liked it too much. I lurved the texture I had created! The way the colours had come together! I wanted to marry it, eat it up with a spoon, wallow around in it, sit down, eat a popsicle and look at it forever (not necessarily in that order).

I knew it wasn't finished, but what if I ruined what I already had with my next move? I had a loose plan in my head when I started, but suddenly it was too scary to go forward. By creating a beginning I actually liked a lot, I had suddenly raised the stakes too high for my own comfort.

It has languished away on my art desk, untouched for several weeks. Sure I have been busy, a little ill and very distracted too, but mostly I've been chicken.

Not so today. Art is a risky thing. A mysterious magic trick, wherein you create something out of nothing, and try not to get buried in fear or ego along the way. This beginning that I had made, with paint and paper and my own magic, is mine. Mine to master, not to be mastered by! Mine to paint on, cut up, daub with ink, paste over or slash to bits...yes, even mine to screw up. And so what if I did screw it up, I can make another, right?

So I took the plunge.

I am not calling it done yet, but it is getting very close. And I am proud of it, and even more proud that I found the cohones to move forward, whether for good or bad...because really the only "bad" thing would have been to stay stuck, stagnant with reluctance.

Machinations - 16x20", mixed media
(acrylic, oil pastel, graphite, needle and thread (first time adding a couple of stitches to my canvas and I liked), found object, book papers, and junk mail)

Because the love is really in the small details on this one: