Middle School Middle Earth

But you can come in of course, old friend.

Through the green door...just speak "friend" to enter.

"And laugh they did, and eat, and drink, often and heartily, being fond of simple jests at all times, and of six meals a day (when they could get them). They were hospitable and delighted in parties, and in presents, which they gave away freely and eagerly accepted."

~J.R.R. Tolkien

Last Saturday we had a party of special magnificence to celebrate the 13th birthday of two of my favourite young hobbits. There were 8 uproariously happy guests, and my sister and brother in law were on hand to help with serving all those Hobbit meals, and manning the bar at the Green Dragon. Our menu consisted of mini sausages, cheese pastries, Lembas, roast chicken, crudites, pumpkin bread, cookies, cake and ice cream. All egg, nut and long list of allergies free, made with love by yours truly, and served in six small "meals" as the boys played video games. (I'm not at all convinced that Halo and Minecraft were thematically correct choices...but I guess Hobbits do love games as per canon.) Meanwhile the Green Dragon served up a wide variety of drinks from Rohirrim Meadow Mead (pale green vanilla milk) to The Old Winyards (cranberry/pomegranate/cherry juice combo) to our Gollum Special (root beer, limeade and gummy fish) and many more. It was our longest party yet at 5 hours, and I was a little concerned about everyone being happy and entertained for that long without any structured activities, but the evening went really fast and the boys were groaning at their parents' arrivals before we knew it. 

Bag End Door Cookies

Lembas

Travelling pouch party favour bags made from craft foam to look like leather, containing a copy of the Hobbit, some  Lord of the Rings Heroclix, and Lembas for the road.

The cake of special magnificence. My first go at painting fondant, as inspired by this marvellous blog - The Groovy Craft Chick. It wasn't perfect, and I had to force myself not to paint a second (no time), but overall I was really happy, and the kiddies were wowed.
Note: I did make a second ring for the other birthday boy, so there would be no tears or severed fingers...

And with that we have now officially hit the teen years! Wow. 

                                          

Happy Halloween!

I am sitting in the quiet of the eye of the storm. The houseful of loud, excited boys are now out trick or treating with the DH (who came directly from the airport after being away three days on business to trick or treating) and another friends dad. The tribe will be back directly for a break to warm up, and to no doubt gloat over their loot, and scarf down goodies, and to be gloriously silly.

Living Like Kings

It is summer, and we are meandering through green and golden days saturated in abundance -pleasures and possibilities like fat, low hanging fruits ripe for the plucking. I am awash with gratitude these days. I wake with my heart resonating richly-harmonious, and fall asleep with a prayer of thanks on my lips. I am quietly and deeply glad, and oh, so appreciative of things great and small -my husband, my boys, my sisters, my friends, warm weather, long days, strong rum, bright skies, good food, my home.

It could possibly be the "best summer ever" (are people over the age of 14 allowed to say things like that?), and not for any particularly grand reason. We are mostly just hanging at home.

We put an above ground pool in the backyard for the boys, and they swim for hours every day, emerging from the pool hungry and happy and marijuana-mellow (not that I would know about such things); limbs strong and tan, and long hair bleached extra blonde from all the sun. It is the very best kind of therapy for them.

I have developed a burgeoning interest in tiki drinks. I couldn't even begin to explain why or how that one sparked, but it is without a doubt the DH's favourite of my obsessions so far. I've been learning terms like "rhum agricole" and "pimento dram", making my own homemade falernum, developing a half a crush on "Beachbum Berry", and enthusiastically concocting libations with such names as Zombie, Painkiller and Jet Pilot. I love the idea of these complicated, carefully balanced cocktails with an emphasis on fresh, premium ingredients and craftsmanship. These are something special. The exotic represented in a glass full of spice and sunshine.

I'll come back and post a recipe or two...another day I think. Right now I have to put my house in order, after a marvellous weekend with my next eldest sister, in preparation for the DQ's arrival (yay!).

P.S. We went to a local gallery yesterday, and were lucky enough to see "The Long Awaited" and other works by Patricia Piccini. My mind was all kinds of blown. They were such powerful, beautiful pieces, and completely took me by surprise. If you have the opportunity to see any of her works, I say run, don't walk, and go, go, go. Truly astounding, perspective expanding stuff.

Happy summer!

10 Tips for Tackling Walt Disney World with Autism

Brenda over at Mama Be Good recently posted a description of her not so magical day at Disney World with her son Jack. I was saddened by her & Jack’s experience, but not terribly surprised. Although Disney does an excellent job in many ways when it comes to disabilities and allergies, there are some gaps in staff training and accommodations, particularly when it comes to non-apparent disabilities. I am not going to get into the whys and wherefores of those gaps here, but what I’d like to do is make a list of things that people with autism or with kids with autism can do to make a Disney trip successful without being completely at the mercy of accommodations that may not be adequate. Walt Disney World and Universal Studios were incredible experiences for our family (so much so that we are going again this year! Yay!), and I would hate for anyone to miss out or to have a negative experience when having certain strategies available may have made it possible or successful.

First of all, it is optimum to start planning your trip upwards of 6 months in advance, and to do as much research as possible. For useful, but non-autism-specific planning advice, I would highly recommend the book “The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World”.*

10 Tips for Tackling Disney World with Autism

Note: the first three tips are crucial, and the rest are dependent on your own particular needs.

1. Choose the time of year for your visit carefully. For our sons, we have to avoid heat and crowds. This means summer time and other holidays are absolutely out, no matter how convenient that would be.

http://yourfirstvisit.net/2010/10/20/2012-weeks-to-visit-walt-disney-world-ranked-in-order/

2. Get to the parks before rope drop (opening). For the first couple hours of the day, especially on a week without heavy crowds (see #1) and if you tackle them in the “right” order (see #3), the rides are virtually a walk on –no GAC required. This is so very important if your child struggles with crowds and waiting in line! Also a GAC may shorten your waits (although it is not intended to do so) or give you a quieter area to wait in for rides, but it does nothing to mitigate the stress of crowded walkways, shows, restaurants and shops. You need to beat those crowds!

3. Follow a touring plan. This will minimize waits and pointless walking, and give your child structure. My absolute favourite is Ridemax.

http://www.ridemax.com/

It is software that allows you to plug in which rides you want to do, then creates a detailed plan for minimizing waiting and walking. My sons love the detailed plan, but we did have to do some flexibility work before we went (as in we may ride Peter Pan’s Flight at 8:52am instead of 8:47am and that will be OK).

Other popular touring plans:

http://touringplans.com/

http://www.easywdw.com (this one is free)

The last two also have crowd predictions for choosing the least crowded park for the day from among the 4 WDW parks, and info about whether or not to avoid Extra Magic Hours, which is also important.  I used a combination of all three to plan our last trip, we rode everything the boys wanted to (favourites multiple times), and never waited more than a few minutes.

Just outside of Pirates of the Caribbean and having fun. These are the crowd levels you want!

4. Know where the quiet places are. This way you can get away from the stimulation without necessarily having to leave the park.

http://www.wdwautism.com/node/1312

There are also first aid stations in each park that are air conditioned, and have private rooms available.

5. Take a midday break outside the park. The parks are the most crowded during the afternoons. This is a great time for swimming, napping, therapies etc. Then you can return to the park when it is cooler & quieter in the evening if your crew is up for it.

6. Bring ear protection. The parks are sooooo LOUD! (as well as any other fidgets, stuff for chewing etc. that you would normally use.) 

7. Create space in the herd. Many people use a wheelchair or stroller with a blanket to create a safe space for their ASD child while in line (you have to stop by Guest Services to get a “stroller as a wheelchair” tag in order to be able to take a stroller in line). For older or more active kids, two or more adults can create some space using their bodies.

8. Stick with the familiar. Bring familiar foods. Guests are allowed to bring food items, such as snacks or foods that do not require heating, into any Walt Disney World Theme Park (no glass bottles). Stick with usual bedtimes and sleeping arrangements. For our family we have to rent an offsite villa so that each of our sons can have their own beds & bedrooms, and so we have access to a full kitchen where I can prepare familiar foods, and we can eat some quiet, non-challenging meals as a break from the restaurants.

9. Do your homework. There are holidays where you can just kind of show up and go with the flow (or so I've heard?), but WDW isn't one of them. Even for families with neurotypical kids, this is a holiday that requires some work and research to make it the best it can be. Find out as much as you can about each show, attraction and restaurant before you attempt it (pre trip). Some rides and their queues are a lot more over stimulating and claustrophobic than others, some are more difficult to board or exit with mobility issues like hypotonia and dyspraxia. Some restaurants have live entertainment, “antics”, shared tables and character interaction- all big no no’s for our sons.

Detailed info on each park:

http://www.wdwinfo.com/wdwinfo/themeparks.htm

Disability related info on various rides (posts 18-28):

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=595713

There are also many ride videos on youtube such these:

http://www.youtube.com/user/UndercoverTourist

Restaurants & menus:

http://www.wdwinfo.com/wdwinfo/dining/disneydining.cfm

And don’t hesitate to ask lots of questions while you are there about things you may have missed or forgotten. My son grilled the CM outside of Dinosaur at Animal Kingdom at length when he just wasn’t sure about riding. He needed to know as much as possible before deciding, even after watching videos and reading descriptions online multiple times.

10. Consider a GAC. Go to guest services and state your child’s needs, and diagnoses. Tell them what you think your child will struggle with in the park. If you’ve had a GAC before and it met your needs, bring the old one with you to show. Your child needs to be with you for this. If there is a problem, ask for a manager. Show the GAC to the CM’s as you enter attractions, be prepared to restate your needs and concerns. If the GAC isn’t meeting your needs, return to guest services with your concerns and questions.

Accurate GAC info:

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=10237514&postcount=6

Please note how the GAC was the very last tip in order of importance; it is nice to have as an insurance policy, a back up if plans go awry and lines are longer than expected, but it is in no way as useful for ASD needs as having a good touring plan and going on a day with low to moderate crowds, in combination with the other tips. 

There are other tips that I could have included. Stuff like using social stories and other learning tools to prepare for all unfamiliar aspects of the trip, and to slow down and go at the pace of the ASD person(s) in the group (or to speed up as the case may be!), but I always find those kind of tips a little redundant and condescending. We already do those things every single day don't we?

The bottom line is that although Disney World is an incredible place that does often work hard to create magic for their autistic and other differently abled guests, the onus is on us to make the choices and find the tools that will make it a truly wonderful experience for our kids. I like knowing that the success of my precious & expensive day of theme park-ing isn't utterly dependent on a limited accommodation system, or a poorly trained staff member having a bad day, or even a well-trained staff member who has seen one too many disability fakers and is put in the position of having to gauge the non-apparent disabilities and needs of complete strangers at a glance.


*The fastpass related information and touring plans in the 2012 edition may be out of date due to some policy changes at WDW. Check the websites listed under #3 for current touring plans & fastpass info.

Critical Hit

This year we had a loosely themed party around gaming (choices of different games and consoles, along with tabletop RPG-ing). Above is the Creeper Cake (from Minecraft in case you're not up on such things), and below is the party gathered around the table doing a little adventuring, Dungeons and Dragons style.

I was more nervous about this one than I have been since they were kindergartners and we were throwing our first big Harry Potter bash. DMing for a group of 11 & 12 year olds, most of whom had never played D&D before, was no small feat! But with the DH's help keeping order, and my lovely sister Elizabeth holding down the kitchen side of things, we made it all work (+500xp for each of us!). The boys had an "AWESOME" time. E was so thrilled and hyped up on sugar he was gushing like a drunken prospector who'd just found gold, and L was so happy he took the sensory stuff in stride beautifully (12 year old boys are at least 1 year louder than 11 year old boys!).

So all the work (I'd be loathe to add up the hours and hours...) was well worth it. I can't go to school with them and point out which kids look friendly, and which aren't. I can't stand behind them when they're talking to a peer, and act as interpreter for tone of voice and facial expressions. I can't keep them from social blunders, like you would keep a toddler from a hot stove. I can't wipe away all the stress and hurt of day after day of facing a world that feels so alien and hostile to them.  But what I can do is plan a Kick Ass Birthday Party once a year that kids are practically lining up to come to, that shows my sons and their skills and interests in the best possible light, and that greases those social wheels. L has been struggling so hard with the friend thing lately, or rather the absence of, but The Kick Ass Party has given him conversation fodder and confidence. He has been able to reconnect with a couple of kids who were open to friendship before, but L couldn't see it, he needed something concrete like them coming to his party for him to feel comfortable approaching them, and being approached. Yesterday at school he was invited to be part of a group of boys (the ones he had invited to his party) for a project, instead of the teacher having to place him in a group, and he was willing to join (he often isn't). Yay!

Merry Nerdmas!

Since we got back from our holiday (which was fantastic, BTW!), we've been decompressing with quiet pursuits. Watching Big Bang Theory (the boys love this show! And no wonder...we find Sheldon very easy to relate to around here...), playing Minecraft, reading Lord of the Rings -y'know, nerd stuff.

I have never approached the Christmas season less involved, less prepared or more relaxed. It has been kind of lovely to do everything a bit backwards this year, and to forgo anything and everything that we aren't in the mood for. For example the tree got a resounding "yes", but the other decorations...meh, not this year. Watching holiday shows also got a big fat "meh", exception being the Doctor Who Christmas Special! (like I said in the title, it's a nerdmas.) Baking treats...natch. Mailing X-mas cards...nein. We will forgo the Christmas Tree Festival, but still plan on our pilgrimage to the food bank (of course). Buying presents for each other -not so much so, but we got some cool stuff in Florida for teachers, helpers etc.

We aren't travelling to spend Christmas with sisters & parents this year either, and this is bittersweet. I love spending time with them, and I wouldn't want to do it this way every year, but for one year? A quiet Christmas with just the four of us sounds like heaven. We have big plans involving food, video games and more food. The boys want all the traditional Christmas fare, and I'm happy to oblige, and they don't know it yet, but we got them a new game system. Shhhhhh. We weren't supposed to buy anything, Florida being our present this year. They are such good, non stuff-oriented kids. They didn't even flinch when a visiting kid exclaimed with horror, "Is that all you have under your tree?! Where are your presents?!" (this kid went to Florida twice last year, and had a bigger Christmas than our kids have/will ever see...oh the joys of wealthy, divorced parents!). The grandparents who didn't go on the trip with us wanted to go in on something, and we found we didn't want to say no. We wanted to say "YES", and so we did, and I am excited. I think gift giving is the most fun when there is absolutely no expectations of receiving.

Anyhoo, we are well, and happily relishing home and hearth after being away. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas...or nerdmas if you will.

Nerd-gerbread Cookies, a gift for E&L's nerdy cool EA.
From left to right: Howard, Leonard (top), Sheldon & Raj

Clones.

Halloweenies

Meandering Avoiders Anonymous

Hello my name is E, and I am a meandering avoider. (credit to Mr. C. H. for the term)

And this poor blog has become yet another thing to avoid as I meander.

Hallo Blog. I am sorry. It's not you. It's me. Seriously, you're great. I'm just not that into the whole self examination thing right now. Have you seen it outside? It's insanely beautiful. It's gorgeous. Best fall evah -a riot of colour, bright sun-filled days, crisp air, azure sky. I'm busy and grateful and stressed out and happy, and the days are over in a breath and a heartbeat.

Plus I have no art for you, and that makes me feel guilty. I hate to feel guilty, so I avoid, and the circle spirals down. The truth is dear Blog, my energy and interest have been going elsewhere. I wouldn't call it cheating per se, but I confess, I have been seeing another blog, my trip blog. Don't worry, it's only a temporary fascination, you are still my first love! But until this trip is over, I'm afraid I'm not going to have as much time for you as I should.

In the meantime, here are some pictures from Hobbit day. I know it isn't art, and I didn't even remember to get pics of the food, but it was a wonderful day! I made fresh bread and apple butter, sausages, mushrooms, cheese, herbs and salad, and honey cake with blackberry sauce and cream for dessert. We raised a glass of the Old Winyards, and Frodo and Bilbo sent us each a present in honour of their birthday (how they got it from the Undying Lands to here, I'll never know!). We went on a long hobbit walk through the forest, and then spent the whole weekend after playing a Tolkein themed DnD adventure set in the Shire. Twas an excellent time.

And I'll be ready for making art again soon, I can feel it in my bones. The old creative beast stirs, and rubs it's sleep-filled eyes, but meandering avoiders are slow, and slowly the beast awakens.

So my dear Blog, that I do love so much, hang tight. I'm still here, and I don't want to break up. I just need a lot of space right now.

Hobbits in the Woody End.
Note: exactly 3 days after this the leaves changed. It was incredible, one day green and the next all golden, crimson and copper .

Summer Gratitude and Magic Trees

There is nothing like sunshine and freedom to break through the grey. We are on our first week of summer vacation, and the weather is fine. Long hot days, blue skies, happy kids, and very few chores that can't wait until after -after swimming, after reading, after making something insanely yummy to eat, after a trip to the zoo or a walk in The Forest.

The Forest is the place we go for Hobbit walks. It is right in the city, and close to our neighbourhood. A piece of land left mostly as it ever was, with towering elms and maples and a lazy river running through it. It is a place full of old magic, you can feel it, and we love it there. Local carvers have been at work there too, carving Spirit Trees.

The boys and I have been talking about doing some sort of art that we can leave there too to make our own contribution to the enchantment.

On the Clock

I have exactly 38 minutes to write this post and catch up on as much of blogland as I can.
("Make haste! Make haste!" as Mr. Collins would say when his noble patroness was not to be kept waiting.)


The Party

The Party was wonderful. The calvary arrived on Friday night in the form of 3 of my sisters, 2 to help mightily with the party prep and one, the DQ, to be full of love and enthusiasm and keep everyone's spirits high, and the party went off without a hitch. 3 and a half hours of video games, junk food and uproarious fun. There is simply no word in the English language to describe the wildly pitched cacophony that 14 pre pubescent boys can make when they get together. Ears still ringing. But fun. BIG fun. Worth every minute of work. Below is the cake, with a quarter for scale.

We sent home very tired, but satisfied boys, and heard a resounding chorus of "best party ever!". Woo hoo! Whatever I can do to grease those social wheels for my boys is so worth it.

The More DQ

She is staying for a little more than a week. I am thrilled! At Christmas she was ill, and unable to really participate or connect much, and it feels like a long while since we've had quality sister time. Right now she is on the other computer playing games where she decorates cakes and cooks stuff. Food is really her biggest passion right now, so we elected this as Kitchen Goddess week. She has chosen a different dish for us to make every day, so expect some food blogging this week (hasty food blogging, because between her needs and the boys I will be kept on my toes!).

The DQ measuring fish sauce for last night's Vietnamese Chicken & Green Beans.

OK I am off. Time's up.

What a Mom Does

Yesterday I worked for 7+ hours (in between my usual running the boys back & forth to school etc.), with this song running through my head...




...over & over in a loop. The boys' 11th birthday is coming up on Saturday, and I was making Super Mario Bros wall decor for the party room downstairs. It took about 3 times as long as I reckoned it would (me & time, I tell ya. Like strangers in the night. Like oil & water. Like colonial America and Great Britain. Just not meant to get along.), but despite the frustration, it does look rather cool in the end.

For example:

We took down some posters/pictures in the Star Wars themed "teenager" room, and put these up in little vignettes all around the room (note Master Yoda in the corner looking on, perturbed at the interlopers).

On today's agenda doing some last minute repairs to the Kirby pinata and making marshmallow fondant for the cake. So many other things I would rather be doing/ really ought to be doing, but trying to take a deep breath and sloooOOOoow down. Eleven. Years. Old. Right on the cusp of metamorphosis. I should be so lucky as to spend 7 hours making party decorations for these boys, still boys....still squeaking with glee over how much they love the Mario pixel cutouts, still fighting over who gets to stick which one to the wall, still giving big hugs in gratitude for my making their party "so cool".
Slow down.
Savour it.
It is all going to change so fast.

Schmalentine's

~

When I was little we didn't keep any of the conventional Anglo-Christian holidays, and looking from the outside in, Valentine's Day seemed quite lovely. A day to tell people that you loved them? Nice. I spent long hours imagining the beribboned and befrilled cards I would have made for all my friends, if only I was allowed, and accepted their cards with sorrowful pleasure and a large measure of guilt, knowing I would just have to throw them away later.

As a youth, I always had at least a couple beaux waiting in the wings. Valentine's was a day for raking in loot, letting the admiration feed the gaping hole where my self esteem would have been, if I had any. To get roses or poetry or some dorky stuffed animal (dudes, what is it with the dorky stuffed animals?) meant that I was pretty, desirable, wanted, made me feel slightly less like some unspeakable thing that had crawled out from under a rock somewhere...at least for an hour or two.

In my early adulthood/early marriage I still really liked Valentine's day. What could be wrong with a day that reminded you that romance is important? I would throw myself into it with my customary gusto, cooking elaborate dinners, saucy lingerie, heartfelt love letters -the works.

Nowadays? Meh.

That's right, I give Valentine's an offhanded, ennui-laden "meh".

First off it falls on the BIG, GIANT birthday week. 4 short days before the birthday, and I am busy. (Nintendo themed this year, in case you were wondering.)

Second of all, I have finally developed a little compassion for what a wretched day it can be for some people. The girls (or boys) who didn't get a bunch of Valentine's loot, and felt that meant they weren't pretty or wanted. Or how about those poor boys (or girls) who, screwing their courage to the sticking post, made the grand romantic gesture only to have it rejected or collected like just one more trophy, with no thought for the giver. Or the women (or men) who are out there, busy with careers, determined not to settle for the wrong person or simply OK with standing on their own two feet and not even looking, why do they have to have Hallmark and hearts shoved in their faces at every turn? Made to feel somehow less than because they have neither the facility nor the desire for romantic love on this particular day?

And third, and I guess this is the biggie. I don't need the reminder. 15 years of marriage. 15 years of building love on top of love year after year. I don't need a reminder to think longingly of him. I don't need a reminder to put on that tight t-shirt, the one that he really likes, just so I can see lust and appreciation unfurl in his eyes. Don't need a reminder to cook the things he likes, or to tell him thank you again and again for all the ways he makes our lives better. Don't need a reminder to spend time together. We are hungry for each other's bodies and each other's company. We flirt and joke, connect and seduce. The mundane becomes romantic. There are pleasures to be found amidst the routine, and we find them...a stolen kiss as we pass in the kitchen, a joyful reunion at each small parting, an offer of help, an ever-growing willingness to let the small stuff go and to just let each other be, flaws and all, and to love each other anyway. And fun, there is always fun to be had. We laugh a lot. I don't need a holiday and accompanying TV commercial blitz to remind me of any of this, especially not on a busy week when expectations just become a burden.

To see him or hear his key at the door is enough to make me remember on any regular old day.

With a Faint Sense of Unreality

Well, I'm back.

I feel like Lucy returning through the wardrobe or Alice crawling out of the rabbit hole. A little dazed, with a faint sense of unreality. You see, I don't think this long to do list, 8 loads of laundry, 3 filthy bathrooms and weighty, gulping, "oh no, how will I get it all done today?" sensation in my throat is my real life...I think that other is the more substantial, the more tangible, that lovely holiday-land, with the ease of time and warmth of family drawn close was the real thing. I'm mixed up. I'm all discombobulated. Melted...Dali-esque. On the upside down, inside out staircase a la Escher. Because those moments where we pause time, where we slake off all our cares like so many wet, damp ill fitting clothes, and stand naked as ourselves, occupying our own space in the universe and feeling our souls anchored and belonging, as it all spins slowly around us...those are the times when we see clearly. The real things. The authentic. And this haze of stress and busy, busy business (have I ever mentioned how much I hate that word?) is all just smoke and mirrors. I think I am going to keep my fantastic cloak of Wonderland wrapped about me as I journey back into the world of "have to's" instead of those layers of cares...

...if I can.

How's that for a New Year's resolution?

5 More Sleeps!

Can you believe it? Only five.

We are almost ready. Every day the Christmas to do list gets a little shorter. It is almost time to just relax and enjoy the season. I can't wait.

I hope all of you are well and warm, and ready to enjoy your holidays too. Much love from me to you. I really appreciate every single one of you who stop by my blog, and everyone who takes the time to comment. Thank you. I am sending you big, warm, glowy-eyed Christmas-joy vibes, or just regular warm & glowy joy vibes for those that don't do the Christmas thing, either way all sorts of love and gratitude coming your way!

Adventures in Spritz

One of the boys had Very Specific Ideas about what kind of cookie he wanted for Christmas this year. The round kind. The white ones, that taste like butter. They have green and red bits in the middle. They have vanilla and sugar in them. You know, those ones.

So we looked through pictures of cookies online (what did people do before Google? I can't even remember) until he found just the ones he was thinking of, which turned out to be Spritz cookies with glacé cherries in the middle. What is a mom to do when her son has such specific ideas about what will make Christmas just right? Learn how to make eggless Spritz cookies, that's what. Eggless because my sons have allergies...lots of  'em and some very severe ones, like to egg.

I tested a couple of recipes that just weren't up to snuff taste or texture-wise, then came up with what we think are the perfect crispy, tender, buttery, not too sweet little morsels of delight. Here's our recipe:

Eggless Spritz Cookies

Cream together, until very light and fluffy:

1.5 c. butter (use earth balance margarine instead to make it vegan)

1 c granulated sugar

Then add and beat well:

2 tbsp milk (soy for vegan)

2 tbsp water

1-2 tsp vanilla

Mix together, then add gradually, mixing well:

3.5 c all purpose flour

1.5 tsp baking powder

.5 tsp baking soda

2 tsp cornstarch

We then divided our dough into 4 equal parts so that we could make the different varieties of cookies pictured above. To the cookies with glacé cherries we added .5 tsp of almond extract (imitation for us due to allergies, which is actually made from peach pits), and then pressed half a cherry into the middle before baking. To the green trees we added .5 tsp of peppermint extract and some green food colouring, then sprinkled with green sugar before baking. To the clover shaped ones we added .5 of orange extract and the zest from about half an orange, and then glazed them with a citrus glaze after they were baked and cooled. To the brownish ones, freshly ground cardamom and cinnamon and then a drizzle of cinnamon, vanilla glaze when they were cooked and cooled (these are my favs). All of the cookies were made using a Wilton cookie press. My first time using, but a few of tips gleaned from online made it an easy smooth experience.

1. You need a pan without non stick coating.

2. This pan must be very clean (no residual grease from the previous batch), ungreased, dry and cold. I stuck my pans on a shelf in my freezer between batches.

3. You need the batter to be room temperature, soft and workable.

By following these steps your cookies stick to the pan rather than the cookie press. So you use the gun to shoot the cookies onto the cool, ungreased cookie sheet (just follow the instructions that come with), then decorate if you choose, then bake 375F for 10-ish minutes depending on your oven (watch your first batch like a hawk and then bake the rest accordingly). This recipe makes a lot of gorgeous little cookies...like 7-8 dozen a lot. But they are small, you need 2 or 3...or 4 to make proper serving.

So there you have it. The boy with the Very Specific Ideas was mollified, and we have several dozens of  these darling ickle cookies stashed in the freezer for Christmas (we ate quite a few too).

9 more sleeps, and only 7 until we are all officially on holiday together. Both the boys and the DH have 2 weeks off this year, and this is the part I am soooo looking forward to. The time. No school, no work, sleeping in, games and yummy foods and playing in the snow.

Revealing Gifts

So last night the DH and I snuggled on the couch and watched 30 Rock and The Office, while the boys drew comic books. (this is their PASSION right now. They are each averaging 2-3 3 page comics a day! The subject matter is widely varied, but always humorous, often violent and just a leetle twisted. Very amusing stuff.) It was nice to just sit together quietly after another action packed day.

On The Office, Jim & Pam exchanged Christmas gifts. Jim surprised her with a diamond bracelet (she cried), and Pam lovingly and laboriously drew him a comic book, and presented it with much hope and nervousness (he was speechless with joy). Cute? Kinda? Meh. It left me with a squirmy feeling inside.

I am actually not good at the gift thing, neither giving nor receiving. I didn't grow up in a gift giving culture. We didn't celebrate Christmas or birthdays, and taking pleasure from or putting emphasis on material possessions was most certainly frowned upon. Giving a gift is generally not on my radar screen when I think of ways to show appreciation or affection. I think there are better ways.

Receiving gifts comes with this whole dance of expectation, and ritual of responses. Maybe it's my inherent Aspieness, but I don't much like surprises, and I am not particularly astute at picking up on the more subtle social cues or acting out the required niceties. Don't get me wrong, I like pressies as much as the next guy (did I mention the 10th doctor sonic screwdriver and Tardis cookie jar sitting on my desk right now? Spoils of the HP birthday party.), but the actual receiving of the gifts often leaves me feeling awkward and embarrassed. Did I smile big enough? Say thank you with the correct tone and enthusiasm? Did the giver leave feeling that their effort was appreciated and knowing how much I value them? And sometimes I just get overwhelmed, especially at Christmas or birthdays when I am receiving multiple gifts. It all just feels like too much, and I start to think of little kids in Africa, and the camps in Haiti and the families right here in my own city who are suffering and don't have enough, and here I am like Dudley Dursley with a stack of presents so big I can't see over the top.

If the DH presented me with a diamond bracelet, I would probably throw up.

(wet blanket, I know.  No one likes that person, snuffing out the festivities with a cold splash of guilt on Xmas morning.)

Pam's gift was handmade. I love the handmade gifts best of all. I feel my happiest, and like I am giving of my best when I give them, and of course, love, love, love to receive them, but not everyone gets or loves receiving the homemade stuff...so there is the suspense. I loathe the suspense. You spend hours meticulously crafting something, sweat of your brow, love in every step, and then you get the wave of panic. It's not perfect. It's actually pretty flawed. Will they like it? Will they get it? Would they rather have just had a gift certificate to Amazon?

There's also the pressure that TV shows, commercials and every flyer and billboard all contribute to. Have you gotten your loved one something spectacular this year? We see cars with giant bows on them. Jewelery galore. Electronics, vacations, big ticket, big money, must equal BIG joy items. On the other side of the coin soppy movies and commercials (still selling us stuff but more subtly), telling us that if every gift giving moment with your family this Christmas, whether the gift is big or small, boughten or made, is not as warm and fuzzy as a Coca Cola polar bear and as sentimental as a Hallmark card you have failed. Big red rubber stamp across your forehead. CHRISTMAS FAIL. Your children didn't squeal with glee as they ripped off the paper. Your wife didn't well with tears and throw herself into your arms. Grampa didn't have a tender moment of finally understanding how much he means to you, as he looked at his new sweater and pipe. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

I watched that show last night and had a moment of doubt. You know what I bought the DH this year? First of all, something we can afford on our modest Christmas budget. Second of all, something he wants. He knows exactly what he's getting. There's no big surprise. It is something fun. Something he wouldn't spend the money on for himself. He will open it, and feign surprise to please the boys, and give me a kiss and say thank you. He'll enjoy it, but it is not going to be some big revelation of my love for him. He won't be rendered speechless or get all verklempt. It's just a nice thing to have, nothing more. Does this mean I get the fail stamp on my forehead?

Obviously I've been ruminating about gifts and their meaning, and the whole societal culture around gift giving, and thinking hard about what I would give the DH if I could give him absolutely anything. What kind of gift would be a revelation of my love to him? And I keep coming back to exactly where I started, there are better ways to show love and appreciation than giving gifts.

Back BK (before kids), we lived in an old yellow farmhouse in the country. It had a glassed in porch on the front of the house where we left our coats, shoes etc. This was unheated. One particularly cold winter, each afternoon as I was rushing out the door to work, I could not find my boots. It was maddening. They were never where I'd left them the night before. I would scramble around the house searching and eventually locate them somewhere on the main floor, and tear off for work in a huff. I came up with a theory that it must have been the dogs (we had two), although I could never figure out how (they would've had to open the door to the porch somehow) or catch them at it. One night in quizzical frustration I shared all this with the DH, and he said, half shamefaced, half amused, "It was me. I didn't want your feet to be cold, so every morning before I go to work, I move your boots to a heat register to warm up."

And that my friends, is a gift.

A revelation of love far better than any diamond or iphone or flat screen TV. He didn't want my feet to be cold. He thought of my comfort with no prompting from a holiday or a TV commercial, and no expectation of anything in return. In that moment I felt surprised and valued, and as warm and fuzzy and sentimental as can be.

Chocolate Spicy Love Cookie, the DH's favourite kind

Only 14 more sleeps until Christmas! I hope your holidays are filled with gifts, filled to bursting! And that they are the kind of gifts that come "...without ribbons! [That come] without tags! [That come] without packages, boxes, or bags!" ...the kind that reveal love.