Thursday, January 6, 2011

With a Faint Sense of Unreality

Well, I'm back.

I feel like Lucy returning through the wardrobe or Alice crawling out of the rabbit hole. A little dazed, with a faint sense of unreality. You see, I don't think this long to do list, 8 loads of laundry, 3 filthy bathrooms and weighty, gulping, "oh no, how will I get it all done today?" sensation in my throat is my real life...I think that other is the more substantial, the more tangible, that lovely holiday-land, with the ease of time and warmth of family drawn close was the real thing. I'm mixed up. I'm all discombobulated. Melted...Dali-esque. On the upside down, inside out staircase a la Escher. Because those moments where we pause time, where we slake off all our cares like so many wet, damp ill fitting clothes, and stand naked as ourselves, occupying our own space in the universe and feeling our souls anchored and belonging, as it all spins slowly around us...those are the times when we see clearly. The real things. The authentic. And this haze of stress and busy, busy business (have I ever mentioned how much I hate that word?) is all just smoke and mirrors. I think I am going to keep my fantastic cloak of Wonderland wrapped about me as I journey back into the world of "have to's" instead of those layers of cares...

...if I can.

How's that for a New Year's resolution?


  1. I keep waiting for my unreality to hit, the real, busy, sick program is in week three, but feels like month three. The little girl has had it for three days now, feels more like three weeks with her up coughing with bronchial spasms all night long. We're back on the steroids and hoping it passes quicker than mine did. Trying not to whine, planning spring break in Florida (with compusory and overdue visit to mother in law for guilt abatement effeciency points) to help ease the brutal wind chill/winter cold/sickness blues. There, did my pity party help you feel a little better? Hope so, hope you are all well and settling back into a comfy cozy routine, hopefully one that's not too busy so you can art and read and bake as well. (Speaking of baking, daughter is on a baking hold until I figure out where to put the extra 5 pounds I packed on, just another fun facet to my winter) Hugs, Mel

  2. e the ser approves of your resolution!!!

    i guess i too am more with mel waiting for some unreality =P sorry to hear of all the illness going on there mel =( here there are reno monsters and mice infestations and a raccoon trying to claw it's way into my apt o.o (last night was not fun lol)

    unreality seems a much better plan!

  3. Such a lovely picture you've painted with these words, layering images together, providing texture.

    I picture you and the DH in a great cloak of golden brocade (paisley pattern) and the sons safely in their with you, souls fortefied and sustained, ready for any challenge.

    Happy New Year, E. Thank you for helping me to see the world in different ways.

  4. @Mel I am wishing you a bit of unreality! Sounds like you could really use some playtime. Hope you are all feeling much, much better! Florida sounds awfully nice (despite obligatory inlaw visits). Some warm and some sunshine could be just what the dr. ordered!

    @Ser Thanks for the approval, I'll take that any day. ;)

    @FoM Thank you for helping me see the world in different ways! I always love your comments and your imagery. We have indeed been all wrapped up together safe & golden. Such lovely times! (she says with a sigh on this rather cold&bleak Monday morn).

  5. The best resolution ever!!! Hear Hear. I believe that those moments are reality. You can tell by the way some ray of joy can pierce the bussynessss and make you say "Ah, here we are." The photo. I would warn you about "The Thing" in a block of ice behind you, but it looks like there's no danger of that ice block melting. Jeeze! Serious winter fun.


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