We are getting a new desktop. I have been researching hardware, getting deeply invested in learning about stuff like why you would NOT want a Seagate 7200.11 hard drive but a 7200.12 is OK, and finding every minute of it broadly satisfying to my deeply nerdy little soul. New computer!!! Woot!
Making room for the new computer has created a domino effect precipitating some much needed rearranging and deep cleaning. I decided to move my art desk upstairs, and to make the spare room into a spare room/studio. It is a great room, lots of sunshine, muted green-blue walls in just the shade I like and I need the extra space for storage badly. I am just worried that not having all my supplies right in the hub of our home (kitchen/family room) will make doing art less accessible, and I won't do as much. We shall see. I am hoping a more inspiring space will force me up there.
Anxiety has been plaguing one son in particular. Anxiety of a whole different type and intensity than we have been used to with him. He is following me around like a shadow, needing to talk about fear after fear after fear. This has been draining, and hard. Many of his fears are my own. It is hard to look into his strained, drowning-eyed face and to comfort...without lies, without platitudes, when the same things scare me shitless. Tell the truth (gently, gently), be there (take a breath and scrabble more patience somehow from the void) and have faith that he/we can conquer this (acting much, much more bravely than I feel, for him)...this is all I can do.
The summer is going too quickly. My elation at the freedom is punctuated with melancholy (and I don't even have PMS to blame), it will all be over so fast. I just want to freeze time for awhile...let my boys have a longer break before the onslaught of grade 5. We haven't caught our breathe yet, not really.
A time turner?
I need some magic here, or some science fiction. It's. Just. Too. Fast.